If Only!

I will be 60 this December, Oh dear lord, 60, really!

I don’t feel 60 years old, everyone tells me I don’t look 60 years old, and for the most part I don’t act 60 years old, but 60 years I (almost) am, and it’s pretty old, however you look at it.

I actually had to reach this grand old age before I stopped to realize that I’ve been wondering and waiting since my early 20’s for my life to slow down and ease up a bit.

It was only this week when I spoke to my dearest friend ‘Alan’ who pointed out to me that having known me almost for almost 15 years, he recognized that my life had never been any different, and for the first time in my life I actually acknowledged that truth.

I’m a creature of habit, I never have idle hands, I never have nothing to do, if I don’t already have at least 3 or 4 projects underway I’ll create projects. I can’t function at anything other than warp speed. So I should accept that life for me will never slow down.

This is just how my life is, “it is what it is” as another dear friend (Angie) is always telling me.

Right now I’m juggling yet another house move, the launch of my book, my first solo photographic show and a family medical emergency of such a complicated nature I can’t even begin to describe it.

I’m wondering if, having finally realized that I live in a world of (self-inflicted) chaos, I can finally stop or at least slow down and embrace my life of craziness and actually accept and enjoy it.

Maybe life will be easier, maybe I’ll finally stop waiting for things to slow down, for life to be easy, and my never ending list of “to do” projects will disintegrate.

Is anyone else’s life really that different to mine?

If only I could stop adding to my list of “to do” projects… If only, if only, if only… Only life will tell..