Thursday 24th March

My worries last night were confirmed, we tore a sail, surprise, surprise, the wind was gusting to well over 30 knots in the night, I’t’s a small relief that it didn’t happen on my watch, not that, that really makes any difference.

I feel as though I’m taking part in some sort of horrendous, survival, endurance test, put together by some wicked, evil sadist who hates me. Daisy continues to roll violently from side to side as she rises and falls over the enormous waves.
I would compare this to riding a roller coaster, but one you can never get off. I’m beyond tired of this. I can not for the life of me understand why people love it! Its unbelievably uncomfortable, every task, no matter what, down to the smallest thing is a real challenge. I struggle to see the pleasure in it. As I attempt to move about the boat I’m tossed from side to side, I fall into everything, I’m bruised all over. The enormous bruise on my “not inconsiderable ass”, grossly resembles an abstract painting by Jackson Pollack.

I’m so tried of being told I will get used to it. Why would I want to get used to this type of discomfort? I’m not a sadist! (or am I?) Now if I could just remember where I put that bottle of Vodka?

The dark skies threaten off the stern, approaching with the apparent speed of a freight train, Bob and Louis fight with maintaining their balance on the for deck as they make adjustments to the lines and sails to alter our course away from the approaching storm, while I sit trembling, watching from the relative safety of the cockpit. The waves splash over us as the rain lashes down, soaking absolutely everything, thankfully its not hot, the dark grey skies have totally obliterated the sun. The sea is angry and dark, I sense her begrudging our presence, I feel like an intruder, I have no right to be here, I shouldn’t be here, I don’t even want to be here! The deck is once again littered with dead flying fish, as it is every morning, one of them is over a foot long, poor thing, Daisy is the “death fish, ship”…
This morning at 7am, as Bob and I struggled to eat our breakfast on deck, with everything sliding all over the place. and us, one hand/arm, bracing and protecting our food from sliding off table and hitting the decks, the other hand holding on precariously to our coffee, we were suddenly surrounded by a pod of beautiful dolphins. My one saving grace in this nightmare of a trip is the occasional presence of these incredibly beautiful creatures. Their playfulness, is a joy to behold, as they leap from the water showing off their incredible skills, they’re so obviously saying “hey look at us, look what we can do”. I watch mesmerized as they swim circles around Daisy close enough for us to reach out and touch, they’re mocking our speed! I don’t believe in wishing one’s life away, life is precious, a gift to be treasured, but I have never wanted to speed through time so badly as I do right now. We have just over 1000 miles to go, about a week, maybe more depending upon our speed, but if I could just skip the next week and be there I would!